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A chick food page from a guy and a panda. Only in Pandapolis, dude. This page is dedicated to singing the praises of what has been declared by uppity, caffeinated Madison Avenue market researchers and red-blooded, all-American he-men as "chick food"--salads, lean meats, fruits and veggies, diet drinks and other edibles aggressively marketed toward health-conscious and otherwise dieting women. If you're an all-American he-man, pop open a cold one and have a good laugh. If you're a proud chick food chick, pop open a bottled water and have a good laugh. Everydody else, make like the aforementioned he-men and chicks and don't take this too danged seriously. (For crying out loud, this header is pink! That's how they paint parking spaces for expectant mothers at the local mall near the entrance. Lighten up a little.)

Why the Heck a Chick Food Page?

As a Diabetic, I Have to Eat Chick Food

Foods high in fiber and lean meats such as chicken, fish and turkey are part of a good diet for people like me with diabetes. The fiber helps pull excess glucose out of my system and the protein helps control its absorption into the bloodstream. What I used to eat lots of before, such as half loaves of French bread, two Krispy Kreme donuts in one sitting, gallons of high-fructose sodas and deep fried anything, sends my blood sugar beyond proper orbit, adds weight, raises my blood pressure and is probably what brought on my diabetes in the first place.

Simply put, if I don't make chick food a major part of my diet, my diabetes will worsen and I will die. Bad. Icky poo. I don't want to qualify for some Famous Dead Guys page before my time. Believe you me, it'll be mighty hard for me to personally request qualification for such a page if I'm dead. And ironically, the fact that I'm cracking lame jokes about death means I take it seriously. Now let's lay this thing to rest... no pun intended.

I Actually Like Chick Food

Now that I have to eat it regularly, I've been brainwashed and conditioned to like it. But I've always liked grilled chicken and fish anyway.

"Chick Food" is a Silly Marketing Term that Disrespects Chicks and This Page is My Attempt to Ask Forgiveness from the Chicks of the World for the Obvious He-Man Ignoramus from Hollywood that Coined the Term

And it WASN'T me. I live in West Covina, not Hollywood. If you think it was, I'm gonna tell on you.

My Favorite Chick Foods

• Grilled chicken club sandwiches
• Turkey club sandwiches
• Multi-grain bread so loaded with grains it breaks your teeth biting into it without being toasted
• Carrots
• Celery
• Spinach
• Turkey burgers
• Eggplant Tofu from Panda Express (Chauncey likes it too, for obvious reasons)
• Caffeine Free Diet Coke with Lemon or Lime
• Peanut butter
• Lemon herb chicken (look below for a Crock-Pot recipe)
• Ginger herb tofu steak drowned in A-1 steak sauce
• Tuna melts
• Tuna burgers
• Decaf coffee with lowfat milk and Sweet-N-Low
• Diet root beer with a packet of Sweet-N-Low; it makes it as sweet as the real thing and I like the thermonuclear fizzing it creates when you stir it in

Chick Food Recipes

Slow Cooked Lemon Herb Chicken

Ingredients

• 1-2 lbs. chicken breast pieces or strips, defrosted
• Italian seasoning
• Water mixed with fresh-squeezed lemon juice, 2 to 1 (more or less to suit taste)

Cooking Directions

1. Place chicken breast strips along bottom of stoneware pot in slow cooker.
2. Add water-juice mixture, pouring it over chicken.
3. Sprinkle in Italian seasoning to taste.
4. Slow cook on Low for at least 6 hours or on High for at least 3 hours.
5. Eat it. Be careful if the chicken pieces fall apart when you take it out of the pot; the nature of slow cooking tends to make meat ridiculously but wonderfully tender.

This simple recipe, which I came up with in my college years, makes a good, juicy chicken basted in lemons and herbs. No fat, no cholesterol, no greasy oil, lots of protein. Good with steamed vegetables or rice.

©2008 by Rich Rodriguez