Really Dumb Diabetic Jokes

I love what you do for me, Metformin! But I hate what you do me for, Glyburide!

Okay, Dracula, time for another glucose test!

Hypoglycemia: when a Type 2 becomes a Type A.

Before diabetes, no one ever put a gun to my head and forced me to drink that Coke or eat that Krispy Kreme donut. I just did, repeatedly. Now that I am diabetic, I realize that the gun does the same thing, just a lot quicker.

The healthier food I now eat, like salads and fruits, is put down as "chick food". To add insult to injury, the stuff I now sweeten my coffee with comes in humilitaing princess-colored packets.

I used to be scared of the sight of blood in my pre-diabetic days. I still am, but only when my glucose level is over 140. And when it's below 60, I bypass being scared and just pass out.